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JOURNAL UPDATE!!! [Apr. 24th, 2004|01:23 am]

I love people.
I just want to say I just fucking love to love.
I love warmth.
Love is warm.
It's spring now.
Spring is the season of love.
I love everything.
(The new Stereolab cd is the soundtrack to this love!!!)
I love all of my friends.
My friends return to me the greatest love.
I love girls.
Girls are so pretty in the spring.
I love dogs.
I love dogs that can play fetch.
And I love dogs that are like my dog.
That are faithful to you.
And go on hikes with you.
And wait for you at the top of a hill while you are climbing up.
I love music.
Music is always there for me.
Like a friend.
I just love listening.
Stereolab, Smashing Pumpkins, and Sigur Ros.
The three S's will get you through a bad day.
And I can listen to their songs anytime.
I'm so fucking happy.
This is a declaration of me kicking ass.
Because I'm the fucking man.
You know that new Jay-Z jam?
The one about brushing off your shoulders?
That's what I'm talking about.
I've been starting too much shit with people.
Or people have been starting too much shit with me.
And sometimes I just feel like an idiot.
But you know what?
Fuck that shit.
All of the shit I've been through up until now.
All of that shit is fucking nothing.
You just need to let that shit inspire you.
Inspiration is the best feeling ever.
That and the feeling you get after you've created something.
I love creating things.
I love seeing how other people react to things I've created.
Especially if it makes them feel the way that I do.
And I feel happy.
So fucking happy.
I'm fucking invincible.
Nothing can break me apart.
I remember when I used to be so sad.
And when I went into the hospital and shit.
And I remember when I broke down into tears.
Because I thought that there was no one that I could trust.
I used to honestly think that there was nothing worth living for.
I'm close to finding it.
I'm having so much fun now.
But I feel that very soon I will come across something.
Something that I've been searching for most of my life.
All I need to know is what to live for.
And I'm about to find out.

This is my very last livejournal entry.
I never really took this seriously until right now.
And right now I'm going to stop.
If you ever want to get together to talk about anything I love.
Like listening to music.
Or hiking.
Or writing.
Or whatever.
You know how to reach me.

-Love, Paul
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[mood |well]
[music |Blonde Redhead]

I want to start going to church again.
But I'm not sure.
I'll get back to that.
I don't want a driver's liscense anytime soon.
I'm sure about that.
Too much paperwork.
Lost my learner's permit/wallet.
Gas prices this summer?
What a joke.
I don't care.
I'm the fucking man.
Crack 40's.
Smoke weed.
Fuck bitches.
Party hard.
I want to snort cocaine.
Like what the rich people do.
Fuck that.
I am rich.
I can afford it.
I'm gonna find a dealer.
And do cocaine.
I'm going to wake up every morning in an ocean of beautiful naked women.
I must say Blonde Redhead can sure write some good songs.
I've been eyeing their new cd at work for some time now.
Maybe I'll take it home with me.
I have the money.
I'm rich.
Where's that cocaine?
I should try killing myself again.
I had one good friend that did lots of drugs.
She was really funny and she did cocaine.
I haven't seen her since I left my old school.
But I talked to her on the phone a couple weeks ago.
And she almost OD'd on teh drugs.
So I don't know if she's funny anymore.
I need the inspiration.
There's fuckin' holes in my hands, man!
Can you believe that shit?!
Sometimes I wish I was five years older.
But I still have lots time.
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straightXedge [Mar. 1st, 2004|05:31 pm]
[music |Fish Without Eyes]

Oh man I'm so crucially high.
Good thing I know people in PG County.
KB, dawg.
Jesus Christ I write good music.
This the first time I came to a computer while I smoke alone.
Most people have better time to use livejournal when they're stoned.
Most people don't write about when they're high.
Man I'm listening to my mp3s right now.
My next CD is going to be so good.
I'm such a good songwriter.
There is no music out there that sounds like The Fish Without Eyes.
I'm so original.
That's right.
Aaron Studebaker starring in: Fish Without Eyes.
There are already plans on a tenatively titled:
Fish Without Eyes II: The Big Eat
Paul is so great.
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T.O.Y.S. * Fuck Melissa Ethridge [Feb. 16th, 2004|12:26 am]
[mood |morosemorose]
[music |Blonde Redhead - "This Is Not"]

Stack 'em and rack 'em!
Rock the a'p'o's't'r'o'p'h'e' EMPHASIS . /EMPHASIS
I was just reading my "friends'" posts for the Livejournal.
So I decided I should pick it up again.
After a two month or one month break.
Oh no!
Uh oh!
Hey the song I'm listening to just said "Uh oh" when I thought it!
Melissa Ethridge fucking sucks.
How can there be people that actually enjoy that shit?
Oh yeah that's right.
They're lesbians.
Lesbians are a strange race.
They are not human beings.
Hmmmm...who's my favorite lesbian?
K.D. Lang is really cool.
I lost her CD though it sucks.
I really enjoyed it.
It made me really want to fuck a girl.
So does Polly Jean Harvey but she's not gay.
But goddamn is her music sexy.
Back to the lesbians.
A couple weeks ago I could have been around some lesbians.
I wanted to go to the pro-choice rally.
But I needed someone to come with me.
So I asked Edgar and he was like okay.
But then he realized a bunch of Democrats were gonna be there.
Edgar is Republican up the ass so he didn't want to go.
So I didn't go.
I wanted to argue with pro-lifers and shit.
At Catholic school they made us attend a pro-life rally.
At Daughters of the American Revolution Constitution Hall.
On our way out a pro-choicer threw a snowball at a pro-life girl.
It was funny.
Fuck Catholics.
Why would lesbians be at a pro-choice rally?
Who would make them pregnant anyway?
I want to live in 7th grade.
Sex should be spelled with a P.
P for Paul.
I'm gonna lay down the jizz in your face.
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CDs [Dec. 26th, 2003|10:19 pm]
[music |Joyo Division.]

Bought some new CDs today, negro.
It's about time I got some Joy Division, dawg.
"Unknown Pleasures".
I also got:
"Sheik Yerbouti" by Frank Zappa.
"Mars Audiac Quintet" by Stereolab.
And the self-titled Cars CD.
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Control [Dec. 21st, 2003|06:50 pm]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |Tunnel of Love - "I'm Dead"]

Last night's show was awesome.
I totally lost my voice from screaming so much.
I don't know why I do that.
It's as if I'm angry or some shit.
I also hit some people in the head with my bass.
That's cool.
Nice show.
Good crowd.
The first band was boring as shit.
I don't care if it was a joke.
Oh, god.
What if they weren't?
They still sucked.
Then xStill Strongx went on.
Lamest band I've ever seen.
They actually X'd up before they played.
Straight-edge is such a joke.
Jack's a cool man, though.
I used to work with him and shit.
But man xStill Strongx is not the band for me.
They make you want to overdose on drugs.
And they make you want to overdose and die.
Because listening to music that bad makes you want to die.
But then Excelone went after them.
Such talented youth.
Seriously, man.
Excelone and The End Product are the only bands my age that I appreciate.
And they're some of the best bro's around.
No other bands have given me such support.
It's tight like that.
Joey and I had to leave after that.
Our ride (Jason) had to be somewhere in Virginia at some certain time.
I really wanted to stick around some more.
It was cool that Stephi and Megan were able to make it out to the show.
Otherwise there would've been like no one I could've talked to.
Except James.
And the people in my band.
And Excelone.
And some other people.
Word to the fullest.
Goddamn I'm so overweight.
Kevin Simonds's mom said I was looking slim yesterday.
"Did you lose some weight since last time I saw you?"
Nice try.
I fucking gained so many pounds since the beginning of the summer.
I'm so fucking lazy and out of energy.
I can't exercise.
It's getting so hard to find a headlining band for January 17th.
I don't know why:
a) No one wants to play it.
b) No one replies to my emails.
At least Nate came up with a good excuse.
And he's a humble guy.
But man some of these other dudes...
I get so sick of shit.
Why don't people trust me.
I'm a fucking nice guy and I sacrifice a lot of shit for people.
"I don't believe you".
Thanks a lot, asshole.
"You just want to fuck me".
Thanks for insulting my morals.
You are a cunt and a half.
I'm fucking sick of people like you.
Fox is an annoying channel.
I fucking hate football.
It's such a fun game.
But they raped it.
What's up with this stupid technical shit.
Fuckin' headsets on the coach and technical aids.
Fuck that shit.
That's pussy shit.
I want some fuckin' hardcore football.
With more assholes getting hurt.
I want assholes to get hurt.
I hope that harm comes to anyone that doesn't trust me.
You get coal for Christmas.
By the way, I have a life.
So that means I won't be updating this for a while.
So Merry Christmas, asshole.
link2 comments|post comment

Incredible [Dec. 5th, 2003|12:20 am]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |Children of Bodom - Hatebreeder]

City of Caterpillar broke up.
That's funny.
Everyone says they're assholes anyway.
So it looks like I'll be seeing Darkest Hour instead.
And that is also Fairweather's last show.
Fairweather sucks.
I haven't seen DH before.
All of the hot babes like them.
Oh shit.
And who else should be playing but AGE OF RUIN.
Their punkass bassist sold Joey a bass amp.
That I use.
That just broke.
I got a bone to pick with that fucker.
And a few to break.
If there's only one person I miss, it is Holly.
I need some FUCKING adventure right now.
Like the kind of adventure only Holly can provide.
Some people are the opposite of FUCKING adventure.
And try to anchor to their bullshit loser lives.
Or whatever.
There are plots against me.
Don't fuck with me.
I fucking hate you already.
I fucking hate some people.
Fucking piss off.
Do me a favor and stop living.
And on a fucking last note.
Everyone should download this cool fucking song.
Everyone except those who fuck with me.
Fucking download "Hatebreeder" by Children of Bodom.
Greg fucking knows what a good taste in music is.
link4 comments|post comment

mista' big spenda' [Oct. 18th, 2003|12:49 am]
[music |"Rudy" soundtrack on TNT]

I just made $80 in one night.
link3 comments|post comment

I'm a busy guy. [Oct. 9th, 2003|08:36 pm]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |The Smiths]

No I'm not.
But your face is.
I wish I was from the UK and had a pretty voice.
Your face isn't.
link1 comment|post comment

Stupid kids. [Oct. 5th, 2003|12:49 am]
[music |VVRRSNN - "Double Dragon"]

I hate stupid kids.
Why do people dress up so fancy.
Just to go to a show.
It's not a classical concert.
You aren't required to dress in formal wear.
But you aren't supposed to looks stupid.
I saw Rainer Maria, Karmella's Game, and Denali last night.
God, does Denali suck.
Portishead wannabes.
Why imitate a band that can't be imitated?
Fuck them.
Karmella's Game is such a great band.
They only played with one guitar player last night.
Not as good a set as they usually do.
But it's Karmella's Game.
I love them so much.
Their singer is the cutest girl I've ever seen.
Rainer Maria played really well, too.
I want my cd back but Allison has it.
They make such pretty music and it's so simple.
Lately, I realized I can't listen to loud music.
Maybe a little bit.
But not too much.
Too many kids are angry.
And stupid.

--- Paul J.
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